Nico
A six hour surgery turned into a day and a half in the intensive care unit, doctors and nurses coming in and out of her room at odd hours. They had tried to kick me out when visiting hours were over, but after I threatened to bring this whole hospital down on their heads, they left me alone.
Her family came and went, her father and brothers going from threatening to kill me if anything happened to her to promising vengeance on everyone who was involved to begging for me to save her. I felt utterly helpless, watching from behind a window as machines kept the woman I loved alive. She hadn't woken up after her surgery, the doctor telling us she was most likely in a coma, and he had no idea when she would come to.
A day and a half turned into a week, then two, and before I knew it, a month went by with Chiara sleeping on a hospital bed. I stayed by her side, refusing to leave unless I absolutely had to. My business was in shambles, the death of my second in command and my absence sending my men into a confused frenzy. I didn't have it in me to care, to bother with anything as I watched her, only the sounds of beeping machines for company. But to my surprise, Robbie junior came to my aid. He stepped up to help me, acting as a temporary leader of the Desantis enterprises, coming over every day to consult me about a few things as he checked up on his sister. He had caught me crying by her bedside one too many times, so I guess he felt sorry for my miserable state and took it upon himself to help in any way he could.
“How is she?”
Jenna's voice snapped me out of my thoughts. She pulled a chair next to me, sitting down and holding Chiara's hand in hers.
“Same old.”
“Have you gotten any sleep? You look like shit.”
I scoffed, rolling my eyes at her. Throughout our time here at the hospital, as we both watched over Chiara's sleeping form, Jenna and I had struck a truce. After we had exploded on each other the first few days, we realized that fighting wasn't bringing Chiara back, so we settled for a shaky break.
“I'm fine, thanks for caring.”
“You should go home, Nico. Rest for a bit, get a decent meal. I'll be here when you get back.”
“I'm fine-”
“You've been here for two weeks straight. You can't tell me the cafeteria food is that good.”
I shook my head, fighting against the onslaught of tears that threatened to break through. “I can't leave her.”
Jenna placed a hand on my shoulder, rubbing small circles up and down my back. “I'll call you as soon as anything happens, I promise.” She turned to face me, her eyes taking in my battered state. “It's only for a few hours, Nico. You can't go on like this, you need to rest.”
After a long moment of deliberation, I nodded once. I placed a soft kiss on Chiara's forehead, praying to whoever would listen to me to bring her back. Standing up, I grabbed my jacket and my keys, heading for the door with slow steps.
“If anything happens, anything at all, you call me right away.”
“Got it.” Jenna nodded, giving me a mocking salute.
The drive back home was silent, safe for my labored breathing, and my empty house wasn't faring any better. After taking a quick shower, I collapsed on my bed, drifting into a deep sleep.
Waking up to a dark room sent my panicked head into overdrive. I checked my phone, noticing the lack of missed calls. Throwing on whatever clean clothes I managed to rummage out of my closet, I dialed Jenna’s number as I made myself a sandwich.
“You didn't miss anything,” her voice reached me from the other end of the line, a low whisper I barely picked up on.
“Why are you whispering then?” I slammed some ham on top of my bread, mayonnaise covering my fingers.
“Nurses are checking up on her now. Did you get some sleep?”
“Yes.” I added some lettuce to the mix.
“Did you eat?” Jenna sounded skeptical.
“I'm making a sandwich.”
“Jesus, Nico, when I said get something to eat I meant an actual meal.”
“I don't have time to cook right now.” I glanced at my fridge, empty safe for a few ingredients. I hadn't been home in weeks, so grocery shopping was not a priority. “I'll be there in 10.”
“Alright.” Jenna sighed. “I'll see you soon.”
Scarfing down my ‘meal’, I chugged some water to help ease it down my throat, grabbing my things and heading out again. I couldn't bear to be away from her any longer. Guilt, anger, confusion, my body was a mess of emotions I couldn't face. Two months ago, I was living my life, unaware of the storm that was about to crash into me. How did this all happen so fast? How did I fall so deeply, so madly in love with a woman I had stayed away from all my life? How could I not see the fast-approaching betrayal of one of the only people I had ever trusted?
Nightmares have plagued my sleep ever since that day, Luca's dead eyes staring into my soul as I had emptied my gun in his chest. On some nights, he would come to me, bloody and battered, asking why I did this to him. On other nights, it was Chiara who bled in my arms, asking why I couldn't find her faster, why I let this happen to her.
I shook my head, stepping out of my car and rushing to the elevator. I couldn't let my mind dwell on these things, I couldn't lose my sanity while she was rotting in a hospital bed. I had to stay strong for her.Jenna gave me a brief report of what the nurses had told her, her face grim as she informed me that nothing had changed. She left for the night, promising to come back tomorrow to check on both of us, threatening me with a home cooked meal for my defiance.
Taking my seat by Chiara's bed, I let my head rest on her thigh, her hand in mine as I traced circles and swirls over her skin.
“How long are you going to sleep for, angel?” I said, placing featherlight kisses on each of her fingers. I played with her engagement ring, having put it back on her ring finger after her surgery. “Haven't you had enough yet? Come on, it's time to wake up.”
I heaved another deep sigh at the silence that met my words, closing my eyes to prevent more tears from escaping. I was tired of crying, tired of the guilt that set out to destroy me, tired of being alive while she drifted away.
“I know you can hear me. I read online that people in comas can hear everything going on around them. You probably heard me fighting with Jenna weeks ago.” I chuckled at the memory. “I can see why you two are so close, that woman is a spitfire. She was right though,” I said, all traces of humor disappearing from my voice. “This is all my fault. I did this to you, but I couldn't bring myself to leave. If I had left you alone months ago after you saved me, maybe none of this would have happened. But I'm a selfish man, angel. I couldn't get you out of my head. At first I thought it was just curiosity, or maybe lust. A desire for the one thing I couldn't have. But I was only fooling myself, I knew it then just as I know it now. My obsession with you didn't start because you saved my life, or because you were the forbidden fruit that I had to have. It was because you saw me.”
I buried my head in my hands, choking on my own words.
“You saw me. Not the mob boss who had the city of Chicago in his clutches. Not the playboy who slept his way through the city. You saw through my armor and my masks, and you were never afraid of me. You never shied away from telling me what I needed to hear, you never thought twice about putting me in my place. God, you even hit me in the balls and pulled my hair the night you found out about our wedding.” I laughed, the memory of me on my knees in front of her sending a pang of desire through the haze of pain.
“I told you that I love you that day. I don't know if you heard me, but I want you to know that I meant it. I love you so much. Please wake up so I can say it again. Please, angel, wake up and hear me.”
“I heard you.”
